Quick Guide to Rock the Holiday as a Bonus Momma

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The holidays are coming up quickly, and we are supposed to feel cheery right?
How can one feel cheery when sometimes these supposedly good times get turned into nightmares by parts of the family... you blended and Bonus Mommas know what I'm talking about!
Those particular family members that despite your tireless efforts to conform, still don't get it. They either buy one a ton of gifts and the other none or maybe one or they try to do it the deceiving way and give the "one" presents while visiting alone and play it off as "not a Christmas present".
I don't have this problem anymore but I used to. In the beginning my grandparents would literally invite me and my girls over on a completely separate day then the original "gift giving" day, shower them with gifts that I would have to shameingly bring home and try to "hide" from my bonus son, when he would eventually see them I would feel so guilty and awful even though I wasn't the cause of it, i would go out and buy him gifts just for him to open when the girls were gone so he didn't feel left out. This ultimately would cause another mess when the girls found it he received gifts from ME and then the process would continually repeat itself. I got to where i hated the holidays so badly.
How I took back my holiday season and put my foot down:
- I confronted them.  As nicely as I could, I confronted my grandparents about the favoritism and disrespect they were portraying to my children
- I verbalized my disapproval of their actions and made them empathize with both sides of their actions on my kids.
- I made them empathize on their actions on myself.
- I gave them two choices: 1. Don't buy my daughters any extra gifts if you can't do the same for my bonus son or 2. We can just cancel any gift partaking at their house and stay at our own
- I had to step back and let go. Not every will do what's right and you cannot control that. I had to figure this out the hard way. I was so pressed to make them change their ways, to make them see what their actions were doing to us, that I lost all of my holiday cheer.
Don't let your kids start to dread holidays to because they see momma gets upset at that time.  Don't let others' actions dictate your happiness. Let fate deal with them.
Eventually they came around and could see what they were unintentionally doing to not only my kids but me as well.
Is your holidays full of cheer? Or are they weary and cause you great discomfort?
What are some ways you can avoid this and/or put a stop to it for good? Leave me a comment below!

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