Ultimate Guide to Transforming from a Single Mom to a Bonus Mom with Ease

Today, on most days,  you'll see me juggling three kids that all call me mommy in all of our day to day schedules, outings, and such. However not to many years ago I was right where you are: a Single mom to a beautiful cotton top babygirl.
I was 19 when I had her and during my pregnancy months their were many times I was actually homeless, yes homeless.
I would  bum my friends couches sometimes to have a place to sleep, other times I would sleep in my car.
My sperm donor was just that. Soon as a actual baby was mentioned he was gone only did he come back in my life when he wanted to erupt a volcano of destruction in my life, which I being desperate for his "love" and "presence"-at the time, allowed him to too many times. Which always ended with me feeling more worthless, defeated, insecure, and lost than the time before.
But anyway I made it, after several "no good" attempts at living arraingments (tell you that story another day) I settled into my own government housing townhouse.
It was in the bad part of town but I actually had no ptoblems. I continued on with my  family. As a Single mom you live life soley for your child.
As a Single mom I learned and dealt with:
-working full time and my child mostly being at a babysitter more than with me to cover bills.
-accepting the fact that at this point I needed help and had to accept it  (no matter how belittling it made me feel)
-that help was not only from family but things like foodstamps, gov assistance housing, wic, tanf act
-myself was no longer: their was never any extra money or time for me. As the sole provider for my child she was it.
-going back to school at that time with working also did NOT work for me it was just too much
-"friends" drop off when you can't have a social life
-people judge a Single Parent more than anyone (I'm not kidding) no matter what you do, something won't be done right
-guys will take advantage of your loneliness
- since your the only parent, discipline is easy, your kid has one set of rules and one disciplinary person.
-people will constantly tell you how to "be a mom" but most of the time you already know...
Now that all that is said imagine going from that and relatively having your life together as a single parent, to A mom of two then three.
Talk about crazy!
So my husband had his child full-time with my bonus sons mom in and out basically the female version of my sperm donor.
I'm sure you can guess a early 20 year old man with a 1 year old son alone, is not going to discipline that son very much or hard. Especially when still holding onto the guilt of that baby not having a mom even though it was certainly out of his control.
His son was  babied  (big time, and yes he will admit it) and WILD.
So as becoming a Blended mom I've faced:
-many disciplinary battles( you just have to work through it, try your HARDEST to come up with a set of rules you can both agree to, it takes ALOT of time & compromise)
-even if at first the kids seem to adjust well, be prepared for random changes of behavior and nonacceptance (they may think in the beginning it's all fun & games)
- expect ALOT of jealousy problems, attention hog struggles, blamimg, name calling, I mean they are kids
-oh and expect clingyness and not just the little ones the older too
- expect to be left out of arraingments and concerns for your Bonus child in the beggining by family members (let them get used to it and make sure they know you are their for the long haul)
- expect unfairness and favoritism actions from family members(but remember the more you "let it slide" the longer it'll last)
- expect power struggles
- expect to feel strange even maybe angry the first time your new spouse "gets onto" your bio child (it's ok and natural you've been the only disciplinary for however long, as long as it's an appropriate discipline action it's okay)
- expect drama from the "other" parent if they aren't okay with you being there or aren't "over" your spouse. And from my story ALOT ALOT of drama!!(don't sweat it, okay I know that's easier said than done but try)
- expect to rethink your decision because of the struggle it is at first, because of the huge amount of stress your under, because you hardly have any alone time with your spouse and no time with friends, just expect it.
But remember why you took the leap to begin with, remember that through all the bad who your battling for: that man you love and those kids that are your everythings... breathe...and stick it out!
Better days are coming momma! But do not for a second think it's easy!
But the great thing about your reading this is, you now have a friend and a go-to person to come to with questions, vents, struggles, or when you just need a listening  ear or a story from my life to relieve you that it's not "you"
This is why I'm here! If you are or now anyone struggling with the transition from Single mom to blended or bonus mom, or any parts before, in between, or after please feel free to reach out!
You are not alone!
Enjoy and Good luck momma!